“Lazy” Teen?
zy They stay up late, get up late, eat junk food at odd hours, leave a mess in the kitchen, their room is gross, and their personal hygiene is poor. They seem to shower occasionally, and when they do, it is for about an hour. (this may apply to a college student as well).
If you are reading this, it is very likely your teen engages in one or more of the above. You have probably tried many different ways to get your teen out of bed before noon, clean up after themselves, etc.
The “Lazy” Teen Stereotype
It’s a stereotype that’s been around for years: the lazy teenager. They’re always glued to their phones, they’re always sleeping in, and they’re never willing to do any work. But is this really true? A study from Brigham Young University suggests that maybe, just maybe, today’s teenagers are actually more hard-working than we give them credit for.
The study looked at two groups of teenagers, one from the 1970s and one from the 2000s. It found that the teenagers from the 2000s were more likely to work during the summer, more likely to have a job, and more likely to have a higher GPA.
In fact, the study found that “the myth of the lazy teen may be due to the fact that teens now spend more time on homework and other enriching academic activities.
Lazy or Unmotivated?
All that is well and good, but is it possible you have an unmotivated teen rather than a “lazy” one? What’s the difference? Are we just playing word games, substituting one word for another?
The word “lazy” has a negative and judgmental tone while “unmotivated” is an observation. Before you stop reading, consider how well a teenager responds to being called lazy. Does it motivate them? Probably not. Unmotivated suggests they are having trouble getting themselves going. Which is likely true.
Unmotivated Teens
Linguistics aside, what do we do about unmotivated teenagers? .
If you are reading this, it is very likely your teen engages in one or more of the above. You have probably tried many different ways to get your teen out of bed before noon, clean up after themselves, etc.
Linguistics aside, what do we do about unmotivated teenagers?
While there is no simple solution and what works for one family may not work for another.
There are likely many reasons why your teen may be unmotivated. Bad habits, poor wake/sleep patterns, and in some cases, school burnout. There are some cases where the teen is defiant and unwilling to cooperate with what their parent is asking.
Communication Breakdown
It is likely that after scolding, pleading, and reasoning with your teen (or college student), you are angry and at your wits end. Communication is probably not good–they don’t answer your texts or phone calls, and make excuses for themselves.
What can Therapy Do?
One of the goals of therapy is to restore communication and help you the parent and your child actually talk and problem solve together. Setting limits and goals for a structured schedule, that may include a Summer job, establishing house rules and consequences for when they are not followed is also part of therapy.
It is also important to learn from your child what their long term goals are. It is very likely that they may be in a rut and unsure how to get out of it. Once the therapist knows what their goals are, we can help show them that their current behavior will not grant them greater independence, help them reach their goals, or make their lives better.
Teens often respond well when they feel understood and when they are made to understand that their behavior is inconsistent with reaching their own goals.
Give us a call or send an email to discuss how we would work with you and your teen or college student. 908-857-4422 or info@hhccnj.com
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For more about teens: Teen Issues