How to Become More Patient

How to Become More Patient

How to Become More Patient

Adults, adolescents, and children all suffer at one time or another from a lack of patience. Some have what therapists would call “low frustration tolerance.”

Adults often come to therapy for help with their anger, impatience, and more. You may recognize some of these things in yourself. Do you have a “short fuse”? Feel very impatient at times? Has anyone told you that you should do anger management? If so, it could be that you have low frustration tolerance.

Start by managing your emotions.

Emotions are powerful. At times, you may feel it is difficult to manage your emotions.  However, you can learn to control them. You can learn how to control your emotions and become less reactive.

It starts by becoming aware of what you are saying to yourself. The story you  are telling yourself about the situation that is upsetting you. As human beings, we like things to be neatly in their categories–black and white. But the reality is that we typically live in the gray.

Watch your emotions rise & fall.

When we can tolerate strong emotions and not act upon them, we are able to see that they come and go. You may feel intensely frustrated or angry. You may want to yell, break something, etc. But if you tolerate the strong feelings and remain clear-headed, you will be able to make a choice to remain calm.

Changing your mindset.

After you have become more aware of how you are thinking about things, you can change the way you are thinking. Changing your mindset can help change your actions. This involves slowing down, observing how you are feeling, thinking, and wanting to react.

By slowing down, you are, in effect, pausing. By pausing you give yourself time to consider your options and respond to a situation instead of reacting. That is frustration tolerance. Tolerating difficult emotions and not acting upon them, when remaining clear-headed and considering your options.

It takes practice, but you can do it!

Stay in the Present

Staying in the present can be challenging when you’re feeling stressed, but it’s vital to make the effort. The way you’re feeling today may not be how you’ll be feeling in a month or a year from now.

With this in mind, it’s important to keep in mind the end goal. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. You can do this by focusing on one thing at a time.

For example, if you’re trying to keep up with a lot of work, instead of being overwhelmed by the number of tasks you have to do, focus on completing one task at a time. When you finish a task, move on to the next one.

Work on getting better sleep.

Getting enough sleep can make a big difference in how you feel. When you’re tired, it’s much harder to solve problems and be productive. When children are tired they are crankier, have less patience, and their frustration tolerance is low.

Adults are not very different from children. When you haven’t had enough rest, if you haven’t been sleeping well, then it is very likely you aren’t at your best. You may be impatient and your frustration tolerance is probably low.

So sleep is essential to overall well being. It sounds too simple but it is true.

You might be feeling frustrated because you aren’t sleeping well. If that is the case, then you are in a vicious cycle. You don’t sleep well, become frustrated, then the frustration and impatience interferes with your sleep, and so on.

We Can Help

If you find you are having trouble breaking old patterns of impatience and frustration tolerance, it may be time to talk with a professional. Give us a call or send an email to discuss how we may be of assistance to you: 908-857-4422 or

Schedule an Appointment

To schedule an appointment, click on the Book Now button. There you will see our availability for the next two months. You can select the day and time that works best for you.

We look forward to meeting with you and will do our best to be of assistance.

If you have a toddler who is having tantrums, check out our article: Toddler Temper Tantrums

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