Building a Better Relationship with your Child: 5 Things Your Teenager Wants You to Know

What your teen wants you to know


Building a Better Relationship with your Child: 5 Things Your Teenager Wants You to Know

Your teenager is growing up, and they are trying to figure out who they are. Part of this process includes pushing boundaries and testing limits. As a parent, it can be difficult to know how to react and how to best support your teen during this time.  It’s tough being a teenager. You’re constantly trying to find your way in the world, and you have a lot of expectations – from yourself and from your parents – to live up to.  

It’s hard for parents to know how to connect with their teenager, and even harder to know what they want us to understand about their behavior.  Teens go through a lot of changes – physically, emotionally, and mentally. They’re working to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world, which can lead to some challenging behavior.  

One of the best things you can do for your relationship with your teen is to try and understand them as best you can. What are they looking for from you? What do they need? What are they trying to tell you?  They may feel misunderstood or unsupported, and may lash out as a way of communicating their feelings. If you can take the time to listen to your teen and try to see things from their perspective, you’ll be much more likely to build a positive relationship with them.


Here are five things your teen wants you to know: 


  1. They need some independence.  Teens want to feel like we’re capable of making our own decisions and handling their own lives. They don’t want you to constantly be telling them what to do – they need to feel like they are in control of their lives.  Teens need to feel like they are independent adults, even if they still rely on you for support. 


  1. They need communication.  Teens want you to talk to them, not just at them.


  1. They are struggling with their identity: One of the biggest challenges for teens is figuring out who they are. This can result in a lot of experimentation, both with their appearance and with their behavior.


  1. They need privacy: This doesn’t mean that they are hiding anything from you, they just need some time and space to themselves. 


  1. Teens want to be heard: They may not always agree with you, but they want to feel like they have a voice and that they are being listened to. 


Teens go through a lot of changes during the adolescent years, and many parents find it difficult to maintain a good relationship with their teen, so know that you are not alone as a parent if some days seem much harder than expected.  However, if you understand what your teen is going through and what they want from you, it is possible to build a better relationship with them. 

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